Once again the planet Earth is on the brink of destruction.
So that's not unusual.
Life should die on their planet.
They've almost completely drained their resources.
We must send twin advisors.
- Why should we care? - We must care, we must keep trying.
After we sent our twin advisors to China,
the Chinese tried to take over the world.
Now they're playing with the control of gravity.
If they were to be successful,
it would be a catastrophe for the entire galaxy.
We must help earth.
Unfortunately I do not agree with you.
Prepare twin advisors this time we will implant them...
into an American mother was about to give birth.
Perhaps you will have better results.
Of course I'll do it.
But I don't believe you can do anything with her things.
Pick the American couple carefully.
They must be intelligent powerful and admired by their countrymen.
And recall our advices in China.
The Chinese will search everywhere for them.
Good, that'll keep them busy for many years.
...of course you know they have never done...
an honest day's work in their life.
I said why you don't even know where your ancestors stole it from.
And I said now.
Caleb do you know that your grandfather...
made his fortune on nerve gas and napalm.
perhaps you'd look at me with that...
inevitable smile he said history was...
never one of my best subjects.
Ooh and he's so large. I could pull him up.
you know I just cannot stand the thought...
The woman is beautiful as her only the phone company.
You're him!
- How's that? - You're the beautiful people.
And you're out here with me just like anybody else.
Well my wife and I never believed in putting on the door.
You know what I mean.
Just because we got money coming out of our ears,
Doesn't mean we have to act like we're any better than anybody else.
Boy, you are democratic.
Shouldn't even mention it.
You can imagine what kind of a kid I'm gonna have.
- All babies are beautiful. - Ever see a baby rhinoceros?
I don't know why they let people as ugly as me reproduce.
I should be circumcised.
- You mean castrated. - Castrated right yeah.
I should be castrated.
When they bring my kid to that window, I wouldn't look up.
I'm sure it'll be a beautiful specimen mister...
- Schillfit. - Sr. Schillfit.
Two bundles coming up.
Well we're the last ones, must be you.
- Could be you. - Twins?
That's a repulsive thought.
Oh Jesus, nevermind.
No, I'd do it. I knew this was gonna happen.
I told her. Oh God. Oh god, no!
We deserve.
Oh, Dr. Frankenstein is Lutetia is okay?
Oh, she's fine. She's sleeping now.
Did she deliver already?
Caleb, I don't know what happened it. Was a billion to one chance.
But those are your children.
- Little baby monsters. - Halleluiah!
Oh thanks, I've do not take.
God bless you.
Oh no!
No, they're not mine.
It's been a mistake, those are Mr. Schillfit.
You done it. Not me!
Caleb!
Mr. Swain what can you tell us about the twins?
A couple of beautiful babies?
Mr. Swain how about some folks our are viewers would just love...
an exclusive interview with a wrench and beautiful father...
of beautiful twins. Mrs. Swain, Mr. Swain!
Ugliest baby I've ever seen.
Shure they've give send back.
Oversize hands, oversize feets, Oversize brains.
I got a call to head vet in San Diego Zoo.
I've never seen anyone like this...
- Honey, there you are. - My sweet, come to mama.
Honey, the ugly babies, they are not ours.
He had a beautiful baby!
But they have all their fingers and toes?
Yes, they've all the fingers and toes.
- They have two eyes? - Two eyes.
No, I mean each one has two eyes not two eyes between them.
No, my dear, they're not cyclops.
But they might as well be cyclops, that's what you're saying isn't it?
Of course not.
This is Lum Fung People's Republic of China's spy...
Number five thousand six hundred and thirteen, calling.
Coming, People's Republic headquarters, over.
Yes, Lum Fung. Have you found the twins?
Ugly. I have found the biggest ugliest twins in history.
I have a news update for you.
The People's Republic of China has just announced they...
are severing relations with every country on this planet.
And their ambassador will be here to talk about.
And that'll be right after this really important...
message from one of our sponsors.
We're 20 seconds into the commercial 40 to go.
Ready music, ready tonneau car.
ready tell us any.
Well give my regards to China.
- Her name? - Ambassador Ah Fong.
Commercials on right now. So why don't you set up.
35 seconds the air. Merv, the Chinese Ambassador is here.
Merv, Merv!
Good. Thank you, guys.
Fine now you leave that right there, sir.
And the boys leave. You can all go in and watch...
- the show in the control room, huh? - I stay right here.
You can't. We have cameras and booms and lights.
- you're gonna be in the way. - I stay right here.
I guard or no dice. we go back home.
No, no, no! Lou, Lou.
The guys can shoot around the zipperhead?
I care, ok.
He's on!
The ambassador to the United Nations from the People's Republic of China...
Mr. Ah Fong announced at noon today...
that his country is severing all relations.
Diplomatic, commercial and cultural with all other nations on earth.
Without further we do.
I have the honor of presenting Mr. A Fong.
Mr. A Fong, when you say the China is...
severing relations for the rest of the world.
Is that because China is mad at something that somebody did.
Definitely not.
You see and the rest of the world has nothing left to offer us.
You very backward.
They would not appreciate some of the...
things that we would be willing to share.
Have you solved all the problems that we are.
Oh, no. Not quietly.
We are still in the dark ages on simple little things in life.
Little things, gravity.
Is there a chance that China will ever allow a visitor in again.
Of course, as long as he or she is willing to sleep in an icebox.
And live all further half a pound of rice a year.
Well, I guess that excludes me.
Oh, boy!
I wonder Mr. A Fong.
Could you leave us today with some words of wisdom.
Oh well...
I understand that you are happy the way you are.
Enormous sweaty backward kind of people but if you happy that way.
You have my blessings. I would like to leave you...
you however with the key through success...
of Chinese sciences. The key might be found in one word.
Twins, twins.
Remember the words of Confucius.
He's the one they said: Two heads are better than one.
I love your idiomatic expressions.
In fact I have a very appropriate expression for living you.
And that is to you the people of the United States.
Up your ass with Mobil gas!
I never say ass on network television.
Oh shit! I just did.
Hey Mon!
I do, you mustn't blame yourself.
The whole natural order is going skew with the mainland Chinese two inches higher.
And gasoline up to $28 a pint.
And that's your old family doctor. I must do what is best for you and Caleb.
I want you to go home as though nothing has happened.
The Twins will stay here where we have the finest life-support systems.
Apart from the Chinese, of course.
And we'll keep them alive as long as we possibly, can maybe weeks, maybe months.
But that should be our ordeal not yours.
Neither you and Caleb owe it to the world to go on being beautiful.
And rich, and cheerful.
Yes you're probably right.
Oh you're always right. but I...
I want they won't live the hospital.
I want them in a place in case they notice something.
I just wanted to feel...
that they're at the center of things and...
that they're at home.
I do you need say no more it shall be done.
- You're the boss. - Yes.
- I want job. - In the cook?
Well, we do need a cook.
But I have to ask you. Are you a communist?
No. I'm in this bullshit.
Lun Fun crazy about. Free enterprise!
Your face looks very familiar to me.
We all look alike. All can same damn face.
Well you'd have to cook for a staff of 30 people and two children.
- Do you like children? - Bet your heats.
Welcome then, thank you.
- I am Sylvester. - Sylvester.
The butler.
You remember? You advertised in the mortician sweep.
Don't worry I said you can put the children in my hands.
I will treat them just I would my owns.
I would go in familiarize myself with my private quarters.
Just, just a moment...
- My name is Quentin. - Who.
I'm a handyman.
The financials news.
Gasoline has risen to all time high, one thousand dollars a gallon.
Forcing even the wealthiest to convert...
to the low performance energy produced by chicken droppings.
For the fifteenth year in a row the big three of Detroit...
have again announced that there will be no new models produced this year.
They have turned their entire production capacities...
over to making chicken poo converters.
To replace the gasoline powered engines of the...
thousands of abandoned cars that litter our highways.
- Darling, Dr. Frankenstein is here. - I'm not sick!
It's my life that's sick.
Here comes the famous faithful old family doctor once again.
My dear...
I dropped everything!
The moment I heard that my favorite little baby of all are sick.
Roll over.
I'm not a baby anymore.
I did. I delivered it you.
- You'll always be a baby to me. - That's not all you've delivered.
- Oh, so that's the trouble again. - And it always will be.
How long did you say they would live?
- A day? Two days? - I forget it.
Two weeks? Two months at most?
Oh, my dear. Doctors don't know everything.
- We're not China men - It's been 15 years.
Something is telling me then I must see them.
You don't know what they look like.
They have become so ugly. I've hesitate even to describe them.
Well, what about their intelligence?
Level with a cattle ups. I'd say.
- Cattle ups? - Zucchinis then.
My dear, they have each other.
You mustn't suppose they're starved for affection,
They adore each other. They even suck each other thumbs.
Only there was some sort of sign, telling me what to do.
- What's that? - Something from outer space.
Take in the kitchen you camera.
- It's a flying clamps. - No, it's a fortune cookie.
Hello Mrs. Swain.
How come you pay no attention to the...
wonderful clue I give to the American people.
Who are you?
I am Ah Fong, the former Ambassador from China.
You didn't see me on television 15 years ago?
Yes, yes we did.
You bet your ass you did.
We hit the highest Nielsen rating for a low shot...
in the entire history of the american television.
I said that the reason for success in...
Chinese science is twins, now you have twins.
You can't put two and two together?
You know about our twins?
Then sad more than you people do.
You have Wilbur and Eliza.
You have been spying on my poor little monsters.
We found out in the People's Republic of China...
if you put two lonely ugly not good-for-nothing twins together,
for long enough time, nighttime daytime,
you let them communicate, they come out...
with a genius to put Albert Einstein to shame.
Not my two.
We must get this together.
You people the way you are, you're jacking down this entire planet.
Everybody conversation turn to chicken shit.
Please come on with Chinese. We're nice people.
We're not bad guys We're just businessmen.
Right?
All we wanna do is negotiate, a little contract for control the gravity.
And we want approval. We want your approval.
We want the people's approval. We want the president's approval.
You go in and call President, now you tell that dumb son of bitch...
that a major natural resource for this country is right here.
Wilbur and Eliza.
This is a sure queer planet.
where the main idea...
- is to be as dumb as possible. - And if you're not dumb enough,
you just drinking some more champagne.
And with all the champagne Sylvester and servants drink,
they must be considered the dumbest people in the world.
Yeah...
well you know what?
Sylvester says that mother and father...
are more stupid than they are.
I hope we had dumb enough for then.
I want mother and father to be proud of us.
Oh, they will be.
You want to hear some Moliere and French?
- Physics? - Physics!
- Physics. - Physics.
- A theory of gravity. - Okey-dokey.
Yeah, and you know.
That's about the best hiding place we ever came up with.
- Sure is. - Yeah.
Ah, our essay on beekeeping.
- That was lashed. - This so easy too.
Oh, our essay on how to cure...
the social troubles in America.
Is no obvious the solution. Is just...
Oh! Our essay.
On the five variant steps of waltz.
Oh. I love to dance with you.
Drop to young masters.
The indestructible twins.
I predict it will live to be thousand years old.
Quentin, put me down.
Put me down, animal.
What's is that?
Telephone.
You can't be the neighbors, to complains about noise.
We are having any neighbors.
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hello, who's there? - Sylvester speaking.
Sylvester, is Mr. Caleb. Caleb Rockefeller Swain.
- Mr. Swain? - Hello...
Is there anyone here who called Mr...
- Mr. Swain - Sylvester.
- How nice to hear your voice again, Sr. - Yes.
Yes, well Sylvester, my wife and I will be there tomorrow.
In the afternoon, along with dr. Frankenstein...
and then we'll be meeting the President of the United States.
And he'll have two Secret Service men with him.
Yes, listen, if there's anything we can do...
for their wonderful and adorable children of just...
just tell and said considered will be done.
- Have any Encyclopedia Britannica? - Encyclopedia...
Any you monkeys who have ordered an Encyclopedia Britannica?
My brother-in-law used to self.
That was two years ago.
The feeling was said, no child should grow up in a home...
without the Encyclopedia Britannica’s.
Oh, course, very good.
You're right about the Encyclopedia Britannica.
Absolutely right, they have a set there.
Yes, and your children have read it 10 times through.
I know, because our most reliable agent has been watching it.
- The cook? - Of course the cook.
I knew his face was familiar.
When I asked him if he's a communist he said no.
Yes, well you see he was under orders to lie.
What is the world coming to, when you can't even trust the Chinese.
Look, you people go and can acquainted with your children.
And we'll come back real soon and then we make a big deal...
for the controller gravity, okay?
Well, we just felt that we had to see our children in spite of what they became.
There must have been days of light gravity in olden time.
And people play tiddlywinks with huge chunks of stone.
Or inhabitants from other planets help them.
Showing them the way to neutralize gravity.
How does our essay on gravity begin again?
With an apple hitting Sir Isaac Newton on the head.
How much gasoline we use?
You better hit the sports car.
I'll get out the horse's leg.
Get the Kawasaki out of there.
Mildred, take your panties down up the flagpole.
And run up a flurry. It's a mess.
I must worry like this. I could wrinkles around my eyes.
- Your cocktails, Mr. President. - Thank you, Lieutenant.
Wait, throw it again.
Mr. President, we'll be landing our destination at 1200 hours.
Thank you, Anson.
That's lieutenant, sir. This is an airplane, not a boat.
Oh yeah, I keep forgetting.
The depressive duty, you know.
At ease, at ease.
It certainly is exciting to re-establish contact with...
the People's Republic of China after all these years.
Yes ensign, but they make me feel like such a jackass.
So far behind them is bicycle contraceptive jelly name...
It they've named a slash to the mast.
This must be a very important mission.
It's in the lap of the gods.
Is everything all right with you, Mr. President?
Yes, yes, of course ensign.
It just seems like there's something troubling you.
So embarrassing, this airplane,
Air Force One.
One once a symbol of a great nation.
Powered by chicken shit.
Well we'd be walking if it wasn't for chicken stuff?
Yes, I guess I am grateful for the damn stuff.
Well as you Navy people say,
Dawn the torpedoes Ridley and full steam ahead.
Dismissed.
I like that boy.
Sure... madam.
Your faithful and obedient servants...
hope you are well service.
"Bon appétit".
To think that our children may actually be intelligent.
Why wouldn't maybe?
They come from perfectly marvelous stock.
Ford's, the Vanderpool's, the Rockefeller's.
I hope that it's alright for the President to land on that old airstrip.
That's why we've got a vice president.
"Oh là là" you both look so very nice.
The perfect ladies and gentlemen.
Your parents would be really proud of you.
Just think, soon you'll be meeting the President of the United States.
My lord, my lady how wonderful to meet you at last.
Oh, we're not Lord and Lady today.
No, no, of course. Silly of me.
The president is already ensconce to the library.
Sylvester.
Oh doctor how distinguished to look.
- May I take your briefcase - No thank you, I'll keep it.
I have some intelligence tests. I will give to the children.
The children. Yes, excellent, excellent. Good idea, Sir.
That class of chimpanzees.
The doctor has brought you some intelligence tests.
Can you imagine that?
Does a horse have a feathers or hair?
The horse has quills Like a porcupine.
Don't forget it.
I wonder if it's time to teach you the words for Mama and Papa.
Say Papa.
Say Mama.
Church, I got it.
Would you like some apple cider, Mr. President.
Is this all rest drink in a house?
Oh I'm terribly sorry, Mr. President.
I should have thought to bring something along.
But you see, Dr. Frankenstein gathered...
together this staff of people to take care of the children.
They all hate alcohol.
Distingued Sir, my lady, Mr. President...
the children are ready.
Are the children really so smart?
You must be the Judge of them.
I've come love so it isn't possible for me to be objective.
Well the Chinese are the greatest resources country as today.
And note the Chinese cannot been mistake. Anybody, anything don't miss.
I'm so proud.
Without further I do.
May I present master Wilbur...
and Mistress Eliza.
Children these are your parents.
And this is the President of the United States.
Second most powerful and richest nation in the whole world.
- Oh please God, let me faint. - Me too.
Come on kids, you can do better than this.
I want you to give them a welcome they will never forget.
- Maria? - "Oui, madam".
Where are the children now?
- Beyond their bedroom - Are they all right?
I don't know madam, they were sprayed with mace.
That was necessary I suppose?
So we think.
Well has it ever before?
I don't think so.
Then it was all our fault?
How could I have given birth...
to two drooling totem poles.
It couldn't be helped darling, that's all in the past.
What a cruel joke for the Chinese to play.
What was the point of that?
They don't think like a great of people.
A gullible.
I actually believe that they would be spouting Latin, Greek and...
- algebra, literature... - Spanish, literature.
I was gullible too. I feel just like you.
Quickly, get the mace.
No! No.
I want talk to them.
You can't, madam.
They could reach your head of.
I am your mother.
Not that you know what mother means.
And your mother is leaving you now forever.
If they're having the least...
flicker of intelligence in your are the...
least syllable of language on your lips...
I came here with, the sort of maybe.
Starting over again and beginning...
of them we have some sort just...
It's cruel and stupid of me to insist on this little sign.
If I can truly love you, and I just...
Well, I have nothing but contempt for myself.
Good luck...
and goodbye.
Mother?
Oh God, what a time to die by accident.
Mother dear?
- Mother, look at us please. - Mr. and Mrs. Swain.
Mr. and Mrs. Caleb Rockefeller Swain.
From 229 Peacock, Santa Barbara, California.
I'm so scared.
Be not afraid, mother.
We bring you tidings of great joy.
Listen, we are not dumb.
We just thought that you will want it very...
much for us to be as dumb as possible.
(speaking French)
This is a very wee planet.
It's just so confusing for us because it's good to be dumb...
and it's bad to be smart.
You know, do as the Romans do.
when you in Rome, is not headed back with.
I swear this is the first sign...
of intelligent life never an observed in.
Any time we showed what you found some way to put it out.
Yeah.
I have some intelligence tests. So we find out what we have here got.
All this just totally turned my world, upside down.
And by George, the whole family are reunited.
- Wait my sister. - Don't worried about her.
Well, we've never been apart before.
Hey, this feels terrible. I've been cutting half.
You'll have to get used to, don't you?
You know. I feel dumb without Eliza.
Start.
Well, I have to confess that I've rather underestimated...
the intelligence of the twins in the past.
I apologize for that.
You know, a few of these tests I've just made.
I didn't miss by all that much.
It's true that this boy has learned to read and write.
Which I suppose wiser about ten times as smart as the girl.
But incidentally they both said that a horse has quills like a porcupine.
- A horse has hair. - good for you.
I feel as though life has used me as a yo-yo.
You know, the boy should go to a military academy.
He'll learned discipline there and he'd learned how to relate to other people.
Very good one is about 50 miles from here.
It's run by an old friend of mine.
- What about the girl? - I think the girl should stay here.
I mean in familiar surroundings.
You could cut way down on the stop.
What you did to make her happy?
a box of crayons, a doll, yeah.
I'd better mosey on back to the White House.
I had a wonderful time here.
I awfully sorry that our babies weren't smarter.
Yeah, well, we gave it a shot.
- Hi. - Hi.
We would like to take the test over again.
- That's hardly necessary. - Would like to take it together.
If you would let us sit side-by-side.
No! I'm perfectly satisfied with the results as they are.
Now just a minute. I might be a simple soul from Illinois.
But I also happen to be president of a once great nation.
Whose entire economy is powered by chicken shit.
Now, if you, two kids think you can perform some...
kind of miracle by putting your heads together.
I for one would like to see it.
Tell me, how can I get America running again?
Children you have to do that? Surely you can think without...
We don't understand.
May also such thing as be in too close.
There is...
Especially for brothers and sisters you see its...
Caleb tell the children about... the incest... taboo.
Yes, my darling.
The incest taboo back in the olden times in...
Egypt and King Arthur novel and all of that.
People noticed that when relatives married and had babies.
The children usually turn down dumb and funny-looking.
Oh! So your and mother were relatives?
Of course not, why would you ask such a stupid question?
Well because my sister and I are preach.
I think this conversation has gone askew some way.
Uh, just to try a little harder to keep your hands to yourself.
Try a little harder.
See the president just asked a question...
that's the hardest one we ever had to answer.
Well what do you need to do to answer the question?
Take of your shoes.
And embrace?
So exchange touch.
That's it! That's it!
All right. That's all liked it.
Pushed. You learn to lead.
Get the police get hold of servants, I'm Busy!
- I've pushed! - Is all over!
Use the stray jackets.
There are some sacrifices that no citizens should...
ever have to make for his or her country.
What's that wagon doing out there?
They delivering ice cream?
That's right, ice cream, they delivering ice cream.
I like ice cream.
Guys, why you tell me what this is all about?
We gonna make you a man, are you kid?
Who's that bound to happen anyway?
- With my sister. - Forget about your sister, kid.
Okay where's the ladies, she's my mother?
She's gone. She don’t wanna cry.
Why, there's something to cry about?
Hey, there is something very sad happening here.
If Eliza was here she would tell me what was.
Hey, why lock me here? What is happening?
Eliza!
Wilbur!
Wilbur, wait for me!
They're trying to separate us.
Its close...
- Just a little... - My head!
There goes my life.
There's nothing I can do about.
Eliza, Eliza. Quick, they try to separating us. Eliza.
Eliza.
Miss Eliza, everything will probably be well again.
Why I'm crying?
Try don't worry about.
I can't think my brain just seems to be... flying away.
Come, come in. He has better there, you see.
You shall only...
- It'd appear the plan is failing. - Do not be so quick to judge.
They have touched the heart of Sylvester.
Soon we may be able to reach others.
And with love, comes understanding.
Let's be patient a little longer.
- Mr. Swain. - Colonel Sharp.
How do you do?
I cannot believe it.
He looked like a loser few weeks ago.
Ah he still looks like a loser, Mrs. Swain.
That's why we had to give him that disguise first day here.
Get everybody out of there which, specially me.
Colonel, is that real instructor Chinese?
You're a great judge of character.
He is Chinese. The best instructor we have.
Looks like a cook we have turned out to be a communist spy.
Don't you worry about that. I had him checked out myself.
Cadet Swain. one step forward.
Step!
Who is the biggest cry baby in this outfit.
Cadet Wilbur Rockefeller Wayne, sir.
He cry all night and every night for his sister?
- Yeah! Yes, yes, sir. - Okay cadet Wayne,
you tell us. What's the name of his sister.
I can't remember, sir.
Very good. Cadet Swain one step backward.
- What one? - Step!
It’s a miracle he can't remember his sister's name.
No miracle about, Mrs. Wayne.
We deprive them of sleep and if they wet their bed...
we use electric type.
I would wish that there was a place it here, for Eliza.
Perhaps if you poured something spaghetti sauce on me.
Carefully.
Oh, It’s so funny with both in the face.
Oh please sleep in your own room instead of the Attic.
There are bats there.
They are my friends.
That's our animals that God made for ugly people.
- At least put a reading light. - I can't read.
I would be glad to read to you.
I could concentrate.
You're not the missing half of me.
If these walls could speak, what stories they could tell.
We got some more liquor in the basement.
Sure, I Think we could fall down...
wake up with our heads in the toilet.
Drink doesn't solve any problems.
We are more fun than that.
Joy of ignorance.
Enjoy have not knowing that anything important is going on.
We thought we were superior to twins.
If you thought the only thing.
And all the way, we live together, they were...
cute and loving and forgiving presence.
I was too dumb to know it.
Well we don't have to get drunk.
We still got three thousand gallons of gasoline.
Probably the last gasoline in the whole world.
The car still runs, you can take a spin.
What a shallow idea of fun you have, Quinn.
Well. I'm not going to sit around here and mope like you.
Maybe those twins are wonderful when they were together.
But that girl up there is just plain dumb.
Oh, My!
Any more funny stuff we're gonna blow the shit out of you.
We have the former ambassador, Ah Fong here.
I didn't know.
Fong throwing around like a damn ping pong ball.
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
You think you're sorry? We all butter up in here.
That wasn't all my fault, wasn't?
Shit your pants on.
Ah Fong wants speak to you.
Are you the same Chinese man or a different one.
Oh yeah, very different Chinese man.
Wouldn't really have zapped me woody?
Oh yes, it’s necessary.
I'm afraid.
Oh, don't be afraid I come with good news.
See you go to your brother the two of...
you get together you can be smart again.
Then everything gonna be okay.
Then we make a deal for control the gravity.
Where is my brother?
The Custer Military School for screwed boys.
50 miles from here.
- I should start walking - Oh no need to walk.
By outside the house here under bales of straw...
is a brand-new Ferrari all gasp stop ready to go.
I don't think I can drive.
Any fool can drive you just put key ignition,
turn the key, push the gas pedal and you're on.
What's that?
My car!
Nice.
- Wilbur! - Who's there?
Hold!
Wilbur!
Please, hold.
I want to see my brother.
I can't let anyone in without permission.
His name is Wilbur Swain.
You tell him to come here, you telling his sister is here.
oh I know. You're his sister.
We're twins.
Take a look!
Wilbur!
So what did you say?
So I told General Patton:
"Georgie you just took the wrong goddamn Hill".
Here's a study hall.
Well. I just had to come to see for myself.
You know, Wilbur parents told me how much you done for the boy.
Well. They promised us a brand new gymnasium.
Oh, they did? They're certainly good for it.
They're the only patients I've got.
Wilbur!
Wilbur, it’s me!
- Colonel Sharp! - Yes, sergeant.
You want in the infirmary.
So this happened to cadet Stravinsky.
His hair was suddenly white, and he can't talk anymore.
All right. I'll be right with you.
I'd appreciate very much if you come and take a look at silence Stravinsky...
before I put that Wickham right into the mutant platton.
Well keep up the good work, Wilbur.
No wonder your parents don't like you.
If I had kids like you... I hate you.
I don't hate you. I love you.
Where are you going? Come back. Stop.
Don't be afraid, Wilbur. This is your sister.
God Wilbur, what if they done to you?
What have they done to us?
- Men. - Yes, sir.
- Do you have their sunglasses? - Yes, sir.
Put them on.
I don't want you to see them or your hair will turn white.
You'll get a stroke. Let me see your weapon.
Civilians. Back road. Catch them.
Oh stalks, they're coming after us with dogs.
God. I'm getting smarter all the time just...
being close to you are you been smart too?
Let´s on this. Pull it!
Please answer me.
Please.
That's not about it, and help me figure out what to do.
I love you. I can't live without you.
If we can't be together as one just rather...
wait here and eaten by dogs.
What?
No, so no more.
My social scheme what everybody could be happy and loving all the time.
Are you saying about our social reform do you remember they're...
happy and loving all the time no matter what the situation is.
Is utopia where everybody in a country has ten thousand...
sisters and brothers and a hundred thousand cousins.
Everyone could be a should new little name consisting of a noun.
- Name of a flower or fruit. - Or not a vegetable or gem...
or bird or fish or mineral.
With a hyphen to a number between 1 and 20.
And anyone that would have the same middle name.
Such as uranium.
Would be cousins and anyone with the same number will be brothers and sisters.
Anywhere you would go and this big country about you would have a relative.
So that if you are finding with someone chances are you would be in own family.
You are okay now, huh, Wilbur?
But they gave me compulsive shock treatment which
accounted for my lack of intelligence that I experienced.
The Chinese have gotten us back together again...
in hopes of learning from us the final equation for the modification and...
and control of the gravitational atmosphere.
They would then master the entire world.
Yes, but we cannot go to our parents because...
they lacked the intelligence and initiative we need.
We need to deal with this situation.
The president although a nice man from...
Rochefort is too influenced by those around him.
And dr. Frankenstein is threatened by us and he would like to separate us again.
So we must...
go back to the mansion finish our essay on gravity and...
and escape to someplace where we can hide and hope we can...
live together in peace and happiness,
Yeah.
Hurry Wilbur, hurry.
Master Wilbur... Mistress Eliza.
Colonel Sharp, sir. We have the enemy trap behind his fault to door, sir.
Put dogs out.
Now I gave you wet noses balls.
Put down then dammed obstacle.
Stop. Pull you back.
You!
Boy.
Now what in goddamn hell is behind that obstacle?
Nothing, sir. There are children's dining room, Mr. "Shop".
Mr. Sharp. Is colonel Sharp.
A Sharp, or Sir!
Yes, sir. A Sharp.
Its totally encased in steel.
It was built at a time when the children...
were believed to be dangerous.
There is no way in.
- Blast it! - We must not harm the boy.
Now, it's goodbye to the gymnasium.
Hold up now!
I don't want to lose that damn gym.
Cadet Swain?
Cadet Swain!
This is the direct command.
You come out right now and there's not be casualties.
And about my sister?
Oh, we'll take good care of her.
Hell, we even got your family doctor. Wilbur.
Dr. Frankenstein?
Wilbur, you remember me now.
Oh, I certainly do.
I've taken care of you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper...
to an elephant.
You never knew anything about either one of us.
You self-serving fraud.
Your sister told to you said that?
She's probably told you to say that and the other rude and ungrateful things.
Wilbur, as your family doctor I order you...
to come out of there and get away from her.
No! We never be part again.
We would rather die than be parted.
Wilbur, we have to concentrate harder.
Maybe if we can fully understand how to control gravity.
We can somehow get out of here.
I'm not very good under pressure.
That's although the experimental tenant...
of general relativity will not fully conclude.
Wait a minute, call back to the part about the photon.
Yeah! Depending only upon a conservation of energy and...
mass of a proton of energy being E over C squared.
That's where Einstein made his mistake.
He got the mass of a photon wrong.
I know it. I can feel it. I can smell it.
- Well, you never been wrong yet. - I know I'm right.
We can go right where Einstein went wrong.
We're so close. We're so close
- Hold me. - Yes.
Oh no, please. Don't stop.
On the contrary, we want you to stay together.
And stay smart as you can possibly be.
We want to take you to China with us.
We're not going anywhere with you.
I'm afraid you have no choice.
After all, we are the most powerful people in the world.
If we wanted to, we could bless you to smithereens right here.
It couldn't help you from the outsider.
Nobody can help you.
So please you just give us the equation...
to gravity and come to China with us.
Otherwise we blow you away, right here.
- We would rather die. - We would rather die.
Just like Americans always the wrong decisions.
So be it.
Wilbur, Eliza, do not be afraid.
Chinese men, put down your weapons.
You are you?
Someone who blow you away, steward.
Just asking.
Twins, follow the light.
It's time to go home.
Welcome, Wilbur and Eliza.
You are very special to us.
We had hope the people of this planet would have...
benefited from your superior wisdom and knowledge.
There are to many Earthlings were afraid of the unknown.
We cannot help them until they learn the true language of the universe.
And stop seeing and hearing with...
their eyes and ears begin to listen...
the hearts.
We Will have to hope they do not...
cause too much trouble to the universe, until then.
Come. Let's go home.
Subtitles: Kilo